A note to my family and friends; this is a journal of my battle with depression. It is raw, it is real, and it may be hard to read at times. But this is all a part of my healing. It is powerful and therapeutic to have an outlet, and if God can use my heartbreak and struggles, how worth it this will be! If you feel led to walk this journey with me, please do. But please don't pick apart what I have said in the midst of a dark day, and use it against me. This is intended to be a source of processing the dark, while seeking the Light. If you are able to understand that, please join me on this journey back to health. Also note that I have no desire to hurt myself. My truest desire is to simply feel better.


Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I Have a Dream

I have a dream. I am so excited. I have a dream. My friend Karyn made a comment on facebook about me turning my blog into a book. My dream is to do just that. I want to put together a book of some kind that encourages people who are struggling through depression. I have no idea how to make this happen. But I have a dream. God has definitely gifted me in the area of encouragement and I want to use that gift to bless others. I am not a great writer but I am honest and I have a great deal of experiences that could help others. My struggle has been grueling but I am determined to not give up. I want to help others have that same determination. I want people who are depressed and feeling hopeless to know that they are not alone. Not only is God always with us but there are so many people who struggle with depression who understand what the horrible disease is all about.

I had the hardest time getting my mind to calm down last night so that I could go to sleep. My thoughts were all over the place thinking about this new dream. I have not had a dream in a long time. I used to want to be a camp director. Then a youth worker who taught kids about the hope we have in Jesus. The problem with both of those is that they require a great deal of energy. Because of Fibromyalgia I do not have a lot have much energy. I grieved the loss of those dreams for a long time. I felt called to work with youth and I was really passionate about it. I have been hesitant or even against dreaming since then. I did not want to go through the pain of having another dream crushed due to my health. So now I have found a Fibromyalgia friendly dream. I can help others through some sort of publications. And then maybe one day I can speak to groups of people about my experiences. I used to say I wanted to be a motivational speaker. That still may be in my future. I LOVE to encourage others. The idea of my pain helping other through their pain is exhilarating. Wow, I have a dream. And maybe my dream could help us financially. That would be amazing!

I have a dream.  Carly has a dream.  Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
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2 comments:

  1. Emily MeierJuly 14, 2010 at 11:06 AM

    I am soooo happy for you Carly!!! I think your dream (as exciting as it is to have) could easily be a reality too-you definitely have a story that literally, thousands (maybe millions?) could relate to-maybe not as severe, but they could see the hope you have! I am so pumped for you!!

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  2. CarlyJuly 15, 2010 at 1:13 PM

    Yeah Carly!!! Your Momma knows you can write, speak and inspire others. You go girl!!!
    Love you sooooooo much,

    Moomy

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