A Really Good Day

I am thrilled to report that I have had a good day today. For the first time in a while I really enjoyed my daughter. I knew my depression was getting bad when I was no longer enjoying my delightful daughter. She made me laugh and smile and I felt alive again. I think my treatments are starting to help.  I also had a lovely time with my friend tonight.  Girl time is really very important and is so refreshing.

My husband has been amazing. He is amazing. He is supportive, patient, and so very loving. I feel completely treasured and safe when I am with him. I don’t have to pretend to be ok with him and I know he still loves me even when I am depressed or crabby.

My parents and friends have also been extremely supportive. My mom watched V today and they both had a wonderful time. She drove me to the hospital and gave lots of kisses while telling me that she loved me. Both of my parents and step-parents have told me they are proud of me. I feel extremely blessed to have such a wonderful support system. I already knew I was very lucky to have the friends and family that I have but that became even more evident when I was in the hospital. There were people there who had actually tried to commit suicide (which I have not tried nor do I have any desire to) and many of them did not have anyone who were truly supporting them. I have been frequently asked by doctors or counselors if I have a good support system. I am so blessed to be able to answer with a solid yes.

Fighting depression really takes a lot of courage and energy. I strongly believe that one of the ways that God has been here for me is through the many people who love me. I am so thankful for all of you who love and encourage me. Thank you, thank you and thank you!

Making the decision to have ECT treatments was a big and scary decision. I am not sure if I would have had the courage to go forward with them without the many people I have rooting and praying for me. The treatments are quite uncomfortable but if they work it will be well worth the discomfort.

I try to remind myself daily the joy of the Lord is my strength. It is really difficult to muster up joy when you are depressed but when I do I am so much stronger. I am able to fight the big looming depression monster head on rather than cowering back into its dark shadow.