A note to my family and friends; this is a journal of my battle with depression. It is raw, it is real, and it may be hard to read at times. But this is all a part of my healing. It is powerful and therapeutic to have an outlet, and if God can use my heartbreak and struggles, how worth it this will be! If you feel led to walk this journey with me, please do. But please don't pick apart what I have said in the midst of a dark day, and use it against me. This is intended to be a source of processing the dark, while seeking the Light. If you are able to understand that, please join me on this journey back to health. Also note that I have no desire to hurt myself. My truest desire is to simply feel better.


Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The Lonely Road

I feel so lonely.  I feel like there is this big gaping void inside of me that is very painful.  I want to be sleeping right now but depression tends to keep me awake.  I am a bit nervous for my treatment tomorrow.  I don't know why.  This will be my third treatment but I just don't feel good about it. 

I don't really know what I am feeling right now.  It is hard to put a finger on my thoughts and feelings. I feel alone even though I know I am not alone.  I feel off, edgy, wierd, not ok and blah.

I want to feel alive, full of life, energetic, excited, overjoyed, and more like me. 
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