My heart is breaking a little bit today. My hubby and I are looking for childcare for our beautiful daughter. It would not be that big of a deal if I had some great job that I loved to go to every day. But I don’t. I am just too depressed to give my daughter the attention she needs. I have treatments on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I am not able to watch her at all on those days. I feel like a failure. I chose to stay home with her instead of working outside the home but now I have to have some stranger watch her. I feel so weak, so inadequate. Many people have offered to help watch her but I don’t want to burn them out.
Depression is an ugly monster. I wish I could just kill the beast. Where is God right now? He promises He is close and with me always but I feel so empty and alone. I am hurting. I hurt so much.
Please God I want to feel better. I need to feel better. I don’t like being so fragile. Lord hear my cries and answer my prayers. Thank you for your faithfulness.
“Savior, He can move the mountains. My God is mighty to save, he is mighty to save. Forever, author of salvation, he rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave. You are mighty to save.”
“Holy is the Lord, God almighty, the earth is filled with His glory…..the joy of the Lord is my strength.”
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