A note to my family and friends; this is a journal of my battle with depression. It is raw, it is real, and it may be hard to read at times. But this is all a part of my healing. It is powerful and therapeutic to have an outlet, and if God can use my heartbreak and struggles, how worth it this will be! If you feel led to walk this journey with me, please do. But please don't pick apart what I have said in the midst of a dark day, and use it against me. This is intended to be a source of processing the dark, while seeking the Light. If you are able to understand that, please join me on this journey back to health. Also note that I have no desire to hurt myself. My truest desire is to simply feel better.


Friday, April 16, 2010

Fighting to Win

Happy List continued

31. Today was a good day
32. I had some very nice quality time with my Dad
33. I got to speak with an old friend on the phone (we have been playing phone tag forever.)
34. I slept really well last night
35. Summer is on its way

Today was a pretty good day. I slept really well last night which felt amazing. I had an ECT treatment in the morning. My Dad went with me. We had some really enjoyable conversation. I spoke with an old friend on the phone which was really nice. She said that I sounded good. That was really good to hear.

I find it odd how different I feel each day. Yesterday and the day before were extremely challenging. I felt terrible. I cried so much and just wanted to curl up into a ball and go to bed for the rest of the week. Thank goodness today was better. I wish it was not taking so long for me to heal. Sometimes I feel like giving up. I will not give up. I am fighting to win this battle. I will be victorious.
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