Jeremiah 29:11-14 states “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and will bring you back from captivity.
I found this Scripture very comforting this morning. God does have a plan for me and my life. Somehow depression fits into it. I believe that God will use my struggle with depression to bless someone else. I also like how God promises to listen to me. Most of all I like that He promises that if I seek Him with all my heart that I will find Him and He will rescue me from captivity. Depression has held me captive for far too long!
Happy/Grateful List continued
117. My house is delightfully clean
118. My wonderful mommy friends helped me clean on Tuesday. Thank you ladies!!!!!
119. I received two Mothers Day cards today.
120. We are going to BBQ on Saturday.
121. Today is Thursday so that means it is almost the weekend!
122. We get to celebrate Mothers Day with my mom.
123. V looks adorable today.
124. We had a delicious dinner at the Baja Grill tonight.
125. I found the perfect birthday present for Vienna today.
126. My fabulous friend found out that she and her family are going to close on the house she has wanted for many months on Tuesday. PTL!!!
127. My daughter loves to give BIG hugs and kisses and I love receiving them!
This morning was very difficult for me. V wanted to stay home with me. She cried and cried. It broke my heart. If I was healthy she could stay home. But I am not healthy yet. I wish I was. I just wanted to scoop her up into my arms and hold her all day long. I hate mornings like today. I don’t have anything against childcare. I just miss my daughter and I want her to be home with me.
I have not kept up with my GET OUT OF THAT PIT journal. Time seems to be flying by. I have had a terrible headache for the past two days which has made it very hard to be productive.
GET OUT OF THAT PIT
A 40-DAY DEVOTIONAL JOURNAL
DAY 3; A New Home
REFLECTION QUESTION; The amusing illustration of a person driving an RV into the living room of her new home makes and important point. What is it?
We can move into a new home, take a new job or even enter a new relationship but if we do not change our heart we will still have the same old pit with us. I think that sometimes we think if our circumstances will change so will our level of contentment. But that is not always the case. We can be just as miserable in our new job as we were in the old one if we do not change our attitude.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone and the new has come!”—2 Corinthians 5:17
PERSONAL APPLICATION; Some of us recognize our pits not by the degree of our badness but the by the degree of our boredom. Reflect on the degree of boredom in your own life and whether or not it’s an indication that you may be in a pit.
I don’t really feel bored in my life but I am also not allowing myself to be challenged. I am scared of taking on too much. I am afraid of committing to do something and then having to quit because I do not have the energy to keep up with it. I miss serving others. I used to work with the youth at my church in Fort Wayne and I loved it. I miss doing that. I feel like much of my life is self-centered and I would like to be less self focused. God created us to give, reach out and serve others. I need to find a way to serve without taking on too much.
REACHING UP
Lord Jesus, I do not want to be a self-centered person. I know that I need to take care of myself right now in order to get healthy but still want to be a blessing to others. Lord please strengthen me. Please heal me. Please heal my hurting heart and my broken spirit. I need you Lord. Your word says that your power is made perfect in weakness. Well I am feeling pretty weak. Lord help me in my weakness. Thank you Lord for hearing my prayers.
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A note to my family and friends; this is a journal of my battle with depression. It is raw, it is real, and it may be hard to read at times. But this is all a part of my healing. It is powerful and therapeutic to have an outlet, and if God can use my heartbreak and struggles, how worth it this will be! If you feel led to walk this journey with me, please do. But please don't pick apart what I have said in the midst of a dark day, and use it against me. This is intended to be a source of processing the dark, while seeking the Light. If you are able to understand that, please join me on this journey back to health. Also note that I have no desire to hurt myself. My truest desire is to simply feel better.
A note to my family and friends; this is a journal of my battle with depression. It is raw, it is real, and it may be hard to read at times. But this is all a part of my healing. It is powerful and therapeutic to have an outlet, and if God can use my heartbreak and struggles, how worth it this will be! If you feel led to walk this journey with me, please do. But please don't pick apart what I have said in the midst of a dark day, and use it against me. This is intended to be a source of processing the dark, while seeking the Light. If you are able to understand that, please join me on this journey back to health. Also note that I have no desire to hurt myself. My truest desire is to simply feel better.
- Carly
- I am a 33 year old stay at home mom. I have a very supportive husband. I have been dealing with depression for half my life and have been on medication for 14 years. The meds are no longer working. My diagnosis is major reoccurring treatment resistant depressive disorder. I am desperate to feel better. Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. I believe He is all powerful and mighty but I often don't understand how my depression fits into His plan. I want to have hope but I am feeling hopeless.
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