Well today is a new day. My wonderful friend R is watching V so that I can rest, recuperate and try to get myself back together. I should rephrase that….allow God to put me back together. I am feeling a bit better today.
Thank you Kristina for your comment, it was encouraging. You are right a pro and con list is a good idea. It helps us see things more clearly. I am a fighter. That is why I will never go to that horrible place (suicide) even though I hurt so much at times that it seems like that is the only way for the pain to subside.
I have learned that if I can just make it through the moment, hour and day I will be ok. Joy does come in the morning. It is not always the jumping, singing, everything is great kind of joy but it is a slice of God’s goodness none the less. It is a bit of a new start. Today is a new day. I don't feel great. But I feel ok. I know God is with me. I feel like I can make it until tomorrow. And that is good. That is much better than yesterday. So even though I am not where I want to be at least I am not where I was. Thank you God.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
A note to my family and friends; this is a journal of my battle with depression. It is raw, it is real, and it may be hard to read at times. But this is all a part of my healing. It is powerful and therapeutic to have an outlet, and if God can use my heartbreak and struggles, how worth it this will be! If you feel led to walk this journey with me, please do. But please don't pick apart what I have said in the midst of a dark day, and use it against me. This is intended to be a source of processing the dark, while seeking the Light. If you are able to understand that, please join me on this journey back to health. Also note that I have no desire to hurt myself. My truest desire is to simply feel better.
A note to my family and friends; this is a journal of my battle with depression. It is raw, it is real, and it may be hard to read at times. But this is all a part of my healing. It is powerful and therapeutic to have an outlet, and if God can use my heartbreak and struggles, how worth it this will be! If you feel led to walk this journey with me, please do. But please don't pick apart what I have said in the midst of a dark day, and use it against me. This is intended to be a source of processing the dark, while seeking the Light. If you are able to understand that, please join me on this journey back to health. Also note that I have no desire to hurt myself. My truest desire is to simply feel better.
- Carly
- I am a 33 year old stay at home mom. I have a very supportive husband. I have been dealing with depression for half my life and have been on medication for 14 years. The meds are no longer working. My diagnosis is major reoccurring treatment resistant depressive disorder. I am desperate to feel better. Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. I believe He is all powerful and mighty but I often don't understand how my depression fits into His plan. I want to have hope but I am feeling hopeless.
No comments:
Post a Comment