A note to my family and friends; this is a journal of my battle with depression. It is raw, it is real, and it may be hard to read at times. But this is all a part of my healing. It is powerful and therapeutic to have an outlet, and if God can use my heartbreak and struggles, how worth it this will be! If you feel led to walk this journey with me, please do. But please don't pick apart what I have said in the midst of a dark day, and use it against me. This is intended to be a source of processing the dark, while seeking the Light. If you are able to understand that, please join me on this journey back to health. Also note that I have no desire to hurt myself. My truest desire is to simply feel better.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Into My Bones
Depression sucks. I feel it all the way into my bones. I want to be productive but I feel so blah. My body and mind just wants to go to bed. Yay for what I did accomplish today.
I am a 33 year old stay at home mom. I have a very supportive husband.
I have been dealing with depression for half my life and have been on medication for 14 years.
The meds are no longer working.
My diagnosis is major reoccurring treatment resistant depressive disorder.
I am desperate to feel better.
Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior.
I believe He is all powerful and mighty but I often don't understand how my depression fits into His plan. I want to have hope but I am feeling hopeless.
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